Toast Is Valid :)

Two satisfying lunch ideas for the uninspired.

A few bits of self-promo from me up top:

+ For Elle, I wrote about food motifs in some recent designer collections—from that Rachel Antonoff seafood tower dress to Carolina Herrera's first-ever fruit print—and the specific luxuries they evoke. This was a lot of fun to write; you can also find it in the December/January issue.

+ I’ve extended my holiday sale, and annual Mess Hall subscriptions will be 25% off for the rest of the year. Gift subscriptions fall under this discount as well!

+ Speaking of discounts: I made a little ceramics discount for Mess Hall subscribers—you can get 15% off in my online shop, for the rest of the year!, with code MESSY.

OK, toast—

This past week, as I fussed around in the kitchen, I began listening to the most recent episode of Home Cooking, the podcast from Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat. The podcast has gone from weekly (during the height of the pandemic) to yearly (a Thanksgiving occasion), but the hosts still began by discussing the best thing they’ve eaten since last episode’s recording. Samin spoke of losing her father this year, and of feeding him perfect—juicy, never mealy—watermelon from H Mart during his last days in the hospital, when he couldn’t swallow but could still taste. It is a gorgeous image, the sharing of pleasure at the end of a life. A simple bit of fruit, blended until palatable to the one person you’re desperate to feed.

Since then, Samin said, she has mostly been eating Barbara’s Cheese Puffs. This did not come off as the self-deprecating lament of a depressed person, though I don’t mean to discount her grief: it came as simple fact of habit. Sometimes we do not spend weeks feeding ourselves elaborate roasts and kicky little salads; we just reach for a comforting stream of sustenance.

It is always a bit of a relief—a reality check—to me when recipe developers and cookbook authors speak frankly of the monotony of their meals. Ali Slagle fought hard to keep a plain egg sandwich in her cookbook because, as she told me, “I just want people to know that this can be dinner….it's fast and it satisfies and you don’t have to think that hard.” Eric Kim included a recipe for Soft Scrambled Egg Toast in Korean American. In Ruby Tandoh’s excellent new cookbook, Cook As You Are, she includes a brief essay called “A reminder about grilled cheese,” which echoes the book’s thesis: there are so many ways to feed ourselves and fulfill our cravings, and sometimes that’s a burger from a truck or the quickest possible sandwich from a frying pan. In what I see as an act of respect to the reader, she does not include a recipe for grilled cheese. The grilled cheese is whatever you crave it to be.

There is inspiration, and then there is feeding yourself. Often these two circles overlap, and it’s wonderful when they do! That’s why I’m here, writing this newsletter! Jackson and I spent twenty minutes on FaceTime Wednesday night discussing all the things we might cook together when I am home, and it was the best part of my day!

And often they don’t. Here, now, in Germany, I watch YouTube videos of people making Tiramisu Icebox Cake while I eat pasta with tomato sauce, or an egg on bread. We have a weekly potluck where all the residents contribute something, and I’ve given up on devising brilliant dishes that will shock everyone with my culinary prowess; I just want to feed my friends and not spend too much time doing it. (Though I will say, I made Deb’s green pasta with garlic butter this week, and everyone asked for the recipe; a keeper, indeed.) I have not been doing too many thrilling things in my small kitchen here—aside from the fact that I finally learned to poach an egg!—but I have been feeding myself every day. In many ways, I am feeling repulsed by novelty.