The Official 2022 Mess Hall Gift Guide

Fuck utility! Embrace whimsy!

Paid subscriptions to Mess Hall are 25% off for the next week—please consider supporting my work!

Can you feel that? It’s the marzipan-scented winds of consumerism whooshing down on us from the North pole! Yes, yes!!!! It’s shopping season.

As a person who makes and sells “giftable items”, I find this to be a particularly fraught time……I am desperate for people’s attention and money, eager to best last year’s sales, greedy for any crumb of validation I can find. The cha-ching churn of ecommerce means that next year I can keep making silly little mugs for people to drink out of. If I sell more mugs………..I can buy my friends MORE PRESENTS!

Perhaps you’d like to buy people presents too? Well! I’ve made a gift guide especially for my MessHeads. None of these are affiliate links because I honestly don’t feel like dealing with that whole thing, they are simply a curated assemblage of items I find delightful. Maybe you will too. And YES I snuck some self promotion in there—that’s the She-E-O way!

4 Pounds of Benton’s Bacon…

Y’all know I am loyal to Benton’s to my dying day, despite the fact that it tends to make my apartment smell like a smoke house. It’s the only bacon I buy, and I love to buy it in bulk around this time of year for gifts.

…And a bacon press to cook it with.

Thanks to the good people over at Serious Sandwiches (an excellent new substack), I have found the bacon press of my DREAMS—by which I mean, not ugly and well made! I can’t wait to use this to ensure even cooking on bacon, fried toast, chicken thighs, pork chops, etc.

The Englishwoman’s Kitchen

After buying The Englishwoman’s Bedroom (h/t Opulent Tips), I am desperate for this collection of photo-heavy features on…..beautiful English kitchens! I am partially putting this here because I think the MessHeads will love it, and partially because I am still waiting for someone to buy this for ME!!

giantdaughter

A post shared by Rachel Alexandrou (@giantdaughter)

Foraged Wreaths from Rachel Alexandrou

My friend Rachel, whom I met on a residency in her home state of Maine last year, is a forager/artist who makes gorgeous holiday wreaths from wild Maine plants. I ordered one last December—she ships across the US—and kept it up through at least march; they dry beautifully and smell incredible. I can’t recommend these enough! Order them through this form.

Island Queen Satan Flower Tea Towels

I love a printed tea towel—they hide stains and count as kitchen decor—and these hand-dyed towels from IQSF are so beautiful and soft-looking. I have a few pieces of clothing from them, and the texture + color combos are always such a joy. (The site can be a little confusing to use, but I respect the prioritization of aesthetics over commercial utility!!)

mariantoro

A post shared by MARIAN BULL (@mariantoro)

Marian Bull Ceramics :)

My big holiday shop update is THIS FRIDAY, November 11th, at 12 PM EST. There’s a preview up on my website now; everything that’s there will be available to purchase when the clock strikes noon on Bl*ck Fr*day. The last sale sold out in 24 hours, so getting there early will increase your chances of getting exactly what you want; you can also use this link to set yourself a Google Calendar reminder. I’m super excited about this batch!!

Diaspora Co. Chai Masala

I am drinking a cup of this as I type. I’ve been trying out a few different chais, after realizing how much money I was spending on the gloopy mediocre stuff at coffee shops, and this is my favorite. I like to add a little extra ginger to the mix (I use Diaspora’s because why not), because I like a ginger-forward chai rather than a more heavily cardamom-forward mix. Diaspora sources all their single-origin spices from family farms in India and Sri Lanka, which makes for fresher spices and better-paid farmers, all of which we love. I also use their chai recipe—it makes for a strong, well-spiced cup, and I always add plenty of honey.

Wing on Wo’s Peony Dinner Plates

I have the black peony plates in the smaller dessert size, and I love them so much. Wing on Wo, which is the oldest continually operating shop in Manhattan’s Chinatown, sources really incredible porcelain pieces from China; the current owner’s grandparents bought these plates in the 80s.

Small Fires: An Epic in the Kitchen

The best food book I’ve read this year; I’m writing something about it you’ll hopefully be able to read in early 2023. It’s written by Rebecca May Johnson, a British academic who also has a great Substack. I keep crassly describing it as “What if The Argonauts was about home cooking?”—an essential read for anyone interested in the ways in which theory, narrative, and home cooking intertwine.

Mess Hall Gift Subscription

SPEAKING OF HOME COOKING—why not get your loved ones a gift certificate to a whimsical newsletter about what we do in the kitchen? Subscriptions are 25% off ($30/year instead of $40) for the next week!

The Vegan Chinese Kitchen

This is the cookbook I’m most eager to cook from when I get home to New York—there is an entire section on tofu skins—need I say more. Author and photographer Hannah Che writes beautifully about both the history of plant-based cooking in China, and her own experience with veganism; the photos are gorgeous too.

Pizza Rat Bandana

I’m in love with everything Michelle Im does, including this bandana covered in pizza and rats. A true NYC gift.

Ann Vincent Piu Candle Set

My brilliant and stylish friend ESTELLE TANG got these for me as a…..birthday? gift this year, and I love their tender-lumpy shapes and they way they melt. Perfect for a dinner party centerpiece; just place them on a tiny plate.

What are your favorite food- and cooking-adjacent gifts to give? Tell me in the comments :)